Where's My Elvis? 

Part 2 - "Scream for me, Donnington!"

Part 1 - hopefully but unfortunately - was quite a depressing read.  The depressing thing, is that a blog about the biggest bands in rock really should not be a depressing read.  For somebody like me, it should be inspiring and fill the reader with the anticipation of seeing that band play that song and for you going absolutely crazy when they do.  Alas, we find ourselves in a situation where increasing age and decreasing quality are robbing us of the rock stars of the future and my question is: who will be their replacements?  Maiden and Metallica aren't going to be around forever and I think only Biffy Clyro, Linkin Park, Rammstein, Slipknot and Foo Fighters really passed my litmus test of who are the main bands to get excited about, and none of them are exactly new. Only Biffy really turn out anything fresh and exciting.

 I don't really want to get into the reasons for this perceived decline, but I'll try to briefly go through my opinions on the matter.  Nobody is selling quite enough to get them up there and I can put my finger on two root causes for the dearth of headline acts coming through right now: firstly, the industry has changed and continues to change.  Kids get singles rather than albums, they stream rather than buy (downloading hasn't helped...) and there seems to be a general shortening of the attention span required for a huge band to stay huge.  A band gets a hit these days and rockets up the bill.  If the next hit doesn't come, the interest wanes.  Secondly, the last big wave that came through heavy music, nu-metal, hasn't exactly left us with the same legacy as the 70s (Kiss, Aerosmith, Sabbath) or even the 80s (Maiden, Metallica, G'n'R).  Of the big Seattle bands of the 90s (and their coattail riders, Smashing Pumpkins, Stone temple Pilots, et al), only Pearl Jam really have the pulling power to bring the crowds. Of the nu-metal explosion, Korn and Deftones never really got to festival headliner status, Limp Bizkit are now a nostalgia band, leaving arguably Linkin Park and Slipknot.  

But what has followed?  The wave of emo bands of the early to mid 2000s gave you, ahem, Fall Out Boy, who I suppose are contenders on sales alone (ditto Nickelback...) and My Chemical Romance, who rightly split up and left us alone,  Finally, much as I love Jimmy Eat World, I can't see Jimmy Adkins commanding "scream for me Donnington!" to a drunk crowd on Saturday night of a festival.

Rather than getting bogged down in scenes and genres, I want to go through a few contenders and their relative merits, starting with the bands most likely to succeed.  Machine Head have been churning out quality for years.  A mid-career lull (rapping, silly haircuts, tracksuits, the 'Supercharger' album) seems firmly banished to the past and their last 4 albums have been quality indeed; they have their own sound, Robb Flynn can write an anthem and can sing - which is important as I doubt a screamer is ever going to replace Bruce Dickinson at the top.  However they've been doing this for a long while now (1994 and counting) and I doubt enough new fans are going to jump onto their particular wagon to propel them higher than they are now.  I would dearly love to be proved wrong.  

I gave up on Avenged Sevenfold some years ago but I might have been wrong to do so.  Striking a balance between the OTT anthems of Iron Maiden and the gutter snarl of G'n'R, they have talent in abundance but I think many rock fans find it hard to take a band wearing eyeliner seriously and M. Shadows' nasal whine can grate.  They are prone to the odd embarrassing ballad and I think need to release a classic before many fans take notice.  Ditto Bullet For My Valentine: all the potential in the world but at times unfocused samey.  A classic album is needed.  And so to Trivium; a band who frustrate me so much I've began a sentence with a conjunction.  This band is good enough to be producing modern thrash metal classics, and had the attention of the metal world at one point, but three fussy albums in a row have left me scratching my head.  They really dearly need a better lyricist, too.  Lamb Of God would be my pick here.  Although they're getting on and Randy Blythe's recent legal wrangles have cost them momentum.  Maybe a bit too heavy to headline, but a talented band with attitude and songs.

Nine Inch Nails, Korn, Soundgarden and  Alice In Chains have the advantage of previous success but have never really made the jump.  Having seen Korn and NIN live recently, I can testify that these bands not only have better back catalogues than people remember, but put on impressive live shows.  They are rock stars with talent and attitude.  Queens Of The Stone Age are nearly there but it seems they always will be.  Their shows are frustrating: for every killer single, you have to sit through at least 2 ponderous album tracks, which gives you time to visit the bar. Glastonbury and Reading perennially await...

Moving in a different direction, it would be churlish to ignore 30 Seconds To Mars because of nothing more than their inherent blandness.  People love them and I don't really know them well enough to dismiss them entirely.  Bring Me The Horizon are making waves right now and rightly so.  Previously, an unintentionally hilarious mess, but they have learned to sing and slowed down a bit.  Sempiternal is a great record and they have a growing fan base.  Keep it up, lads!

A Day To Remember and All Time Low annoy the piss out of me so I'll move right along until their fans outgrow how juvenile they are...

I'm going to ramp up the self indulgence a notch here and go through the bands I would like to see, however unlikely it may be:

Mastodon - great band who need to rediscover their live touch.  If they can strike a balance between early hardcore, mid-period prog and recent anthemic rock, they could be heroes.  They also need one of their singers to step up and be a commanding frontman.

Killswitch Engage - a talented band who needed a kick and got one.  A couple of ropey albums in a row dented their momentum while Adam D's bizarre stage presence and singer Howard Jones' lack thereof made them a tight but polite live act.  Jesse Leech's return on vocals and a much improved return album should have kicked them on but give them time.

Enter Shikari - a band  hated and then grew to admire and enjoy. I thought the dance-rock thing was a bit of a cliche and being a Pitchshifter fan, nothing really new.  But they have some great songs, put on a great show and seem to be growing in popularity.  And band that can make you aware of climate change while you are moshing deserve respect.

Ok, time for some complete outsiders, who are nowhere near the level required... but one can hope.

Black Spiders - The most fun band on this list after Iron Maiden, these guys know exactly where they came from but do so much more than a pastiche of their heroes.  Bonkers 3-guitar line up? Yes. Soaring lead vocals? You bet. Foot-on-the-monitor anthems? Absolutely.  I would dearly love to see these guys own the Download festival.

Clutch - Several albums under their belt, a charismatic and talented singer and all the riffs under the sun, nobody does it like Clutch.  In terms of working for it and deserving it, this should be the new go-to band to top the bill.  Alas, they aren't exactly rock stars and don't exactly sell arenas right now.

Lower Than Atlantis - The longest of my long shots, they have a long way to go before they reach the top but they have all the tools they need.  A great songwriter, the knack for a hook and tunes that ear-worm you for days.  These guys should be the UK's own Foo Fighters, only singer Mike Duce's lyrics aren't as frustratingly vague as Dave Grohl's.  Come on, England - make this happen!

And finally...

Ginger/The Wildhearts - Rock star attitude, riffs galore and all the songs! Ginger is simply the best songwriter I've encountered since I started paying attention and if 'I Wanna Go Where The People Go' never closes a festival then the world will be a sad place indeed.

Ok, so I've gone on a bit, but I care about this stuff.  Somebody needs to grab rock and roll by the scruff of the neck and/or balls and drag it into this century.  It;s only a matter of time until James Hetfield's wrists give up on him and I'd hate to think that nobody was waiting in the wings to rite the next 'Enter Sandman'.  Say your prayers, little ones - we need somebody.

Where's My Elvis?
Part 1 - Burning out and fading away?

Since I was about 13 years old, I've been into metal.  I'm not ashamed (although I probably should be) that it started with Bon Jovi and progressed from there.  A chance playing of Nirvana's Nevermind on the bus and some kid in school lending me a copy of Megadeth's Youthanasia album set me off in a heavier direction and I never looked back but therein lies an important facet of my fascination with heavy music; the bands I started with were already big.  Huge, even.  Like and genre, rock music needs its big hitters, big sellers and headline acts (I write this days after seeing Slipknot play a packed Newcastle Arena) and I think it's fair to say that people are more likely to be attracted to a genre by hearing its biggest exponents than an obscure band that haven't sold many records.  You're more likely to hear and be blown away by Black Sabbath than you are by Reverend Bizarre or Solace.

Metal is an odd creature; since the early 1970s the biggest bands have sold millions of records, from Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple through to Iron Maiden, Metallica and more recently Soundgarden and Pearl Jam.  Yet despite this, rock remains firmly apart from the mainstream.  Yes, the biggest bands get hits and occasional plays on Radio 1 in the afternon; hell, The Offspring even got a number 1 single with a naff novelty song.  But how many of the people who got that song to number one went and bought the album? Or bought the next album, or their back catalogue?  Iron Maiden had a number one single, but you'd be pushing it to call them a mainstream band.

So what I'm looking for here is the new rock giants.  Who is going to inherit the throne?  Well, first of all, who has the throne right now?  To define my terms, I'm looking at a band who could headline a  rock festival. And by 'Rock Festival', I don't mean one where Radiohead and Coldplay take turns year after year; I mean a real rock festival, with mosh pits and headbanging and where Chris Martin isn't invited.

It's telling that this year there will be no Sonisphere Festival in England.  A lack of suitable headliners is the given reason and that to me, is a very sad state of affairs.  Here's a brief list of who I would consider suitable rock festival headliners:

Iron Maiden
Metallica
Foo Fighters
Green Day
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Kiss
Slipknot
Faith No More
Rage Against The Machine
System Of A Down
Black Sabbath
Pearl Jam
Guns & Roses
Aerosmith
Muse
Queen
AC/DC
The Offspring
Blink 182
Biffy Clyro
Rammstein
Linkin Park
Tool

Pretty formidable list, right?  Well, I agree but let's break it down. In terms of sales, you can probably add Nickelback but you wouldn't take them very seriously, would you?  They wouldn't get all the way onstage before being hit by a barrage of piss bottles.  Seriously, though this list isn't as good as it seems when you consider things like age and recent output.

Of these, I count 8 of them in what you would call the twilight of their careers (Maiden, Metallica, Green Day, RHCP, Pearl Jam, Aerosmith, AC/DC, The Offspring), in terms of age or quality of output.  I count a further 8 that have broken up and reformed, probably quite cynically in some cases, and are unlikely to reclaim their past glories (Kiss, FNM, RATM, SOAD, Sabbath, G&R, Queen, Blink 182).  Arguably a couple of them are on the wrong list here anyway (sorry, Muse, Pearl Jam, Offspring, Blink, Biffy) and better suited to what you might call an alternative festival (Reading/Leeds or Glastonbury).  That pretty much leaves you with Tool, Linkin Park, Rammstein, Slipknot and Foo Fighters, none of whom are exactly spring chickens.  I suppose I'm being generous including Foos in this as they aren't exactly headbanger material but say what you like about them, they put on a great rock show.  Slipknot are back from tragedy and personal problems and on the crest of a wave right now, but there do appear to be some interpersonal issues in the band, most of whom are now the wrong side of 40.  How long they stick around is up for debate.  Much of the same can be said for Rammstein, whose musical output has barely altered one bit since they formed, and let's face it, it wasn't too thrilling to begin with. Linkin Park, whose popularity baffles me, remain a big attraction despite the law of diminishing returns hitting them hard.  Apparently they still have a rapper in the band...  And has anyone heard from Tool lately?

Maiden and Metallica are arguably the mainstays of the UK rock festival and therein lies the problem.  I fucking love Iron Maiden, although in a semi-ironic way.  Maiden have churned out largely the same material since Bruce Dickinson joined in 1982.  Granted they started doing it a bit better when Bruce rejoined them in the early 2000s, but essentially it hasn't changed much.  The cool thing about Maiden is that they do it with such conviction that it's hard not to enjoy.  The bad thing about Maiden is that given the quality of their recent output, they break no new ground and are trading on past glories, probably  until they retire, which likely won't be long.

Metallica are one of my favourites; this is a band that matters to me and unlike Maiden, their last album was fresh and thrilling to my ears.  However that was 6 and a half years ago and there is no sign of a new one.  They tour, but people who have seen them recently don't speak highly of their live prowess.  By their own admission, decades of playing fast and aggressive music has taken a toll on them and it seems like they can't quite cut it any longer.  It's sad to say but if there's even the slightest error with a song like 'Battery' or 'Dyer's Eve' then it's going to stick out like a snare drum on St. Anger.

Considering the most viable of the others, would your average metal head rush to buy tickets to see Pearl Jam? Certainly I would but one wouldn't place them beside Iron Maiden on a bill (although Pearl Jam themselves would likely love it).  Download have booked Muse to headline this year's show (which is the only reason they made the above list).  Much as I like them, I wouldn't get excited about seeing hem headline a rock festival.

Several of these bands should probably have been put to pasture long ago.  It's sad to think of Axl Rose and a group of session musicians stumbling through 'Sweet Child O' Mine' or Gene Simmons trying to get his grease paint in between the wrinkles.  How much longer can Steve Perry and Joe Perry flog the dying Aerosmith horse? Can anybody really say that the Chillis are the band they were even 5 years ago?

Sadly, illness is likely to get the better of AC/DC and Sabbath sooner rather than later but let's face it, are they even pale shadows of the bands they once were?  For the bulk of the above bands, the main reason you'd go to enjoy them would be for nostalgia; to get to see 'Run To The Hills', 'Paranoid', 'Detroit Rock City' or even 'Killing In The Name' played live.  The most recent of those songs was written 24 years ago.

Now I'm not writing this to be mean to the bands that I love; I'm writing this as a reminder of the state of affairs we find ourselves presented with: out massive bands are becoming less massive, our headliners are dying off, our rock legends are becoming less and less legendary by the year.  The thought of Ozzy commanding a crowd to 'Go crazy' from a wheelchair is a sad one but one that is not too far from reality.

So I leave you with one question. A question inspired by true rock legends, a revolutionary and inspirational band, and one that unfortunately should have retired many years ago: who's next?

Korn / Slipknot

Newcastle Arena, 19/12/15

I'm 34 years of age and I really should know better.  There's no justification for it. I can't reconcile my enjoyment of this, considering my age and status as a gainfully employed adult with a degree in... something or other (I don't really remember what).  Using any criteria I can think of, I really should not enjoy Slipknot as much as I do. I'm too old, too sensible, too reserved. They wear freakin' masks and boiler suits, they have at least two drummers more than it's sensible to have, and at least one member whose function in the band is ambiguous at best (Craig Jones, who plays 'samples' ).  I was probably too old for this when they released their first full album in 1999, and I was only 18 back then.  So considering all that, why was this show so much fun?  I'll try to explain.

This being the first of my reviews to find a home on a new blog site, it seemed appropriate to be the first gig with a new co-conspirator.  At this point, I should also mention that the spell check function on this blog site doesn't recognise the word 'blog', which I find quite funny. Having been generously given two tickets for this show for my birthday, I was counting the days between then (8th of December - mark your diaries!) and now.  Finding a like-minded person from work to go with, we took on board a few drinks before heading to the arena, our excitement only slightly stifled by the frankly Baltic conditions outside.

Newcastle Arena is a horrible venue, as are most venues of this type.  It's impossible to get a good feeling for a place made from breeze blocks and designed with ice hockey in mind but such lack of intimacy is the price of success, I suppose,  The more people that like you, the further away from them you have to be when you perform.  The ironic thing (more so than the blog thing I mentioned earlier) is that I actually love arena rock, despite not being a fan of arenas.  There are, for me, few more exhilarating experiences than a foot-on-the-monitor anthem being belted out to thousands of screaming fans.

Finding out late in the day that there was an opening band, we decided that we liked beer more than we cared about seeing King 810 so I have nothing to say about them.  Beer, on the other hand is still lovely, I am happy to report.  So we arrived and were delivered straight into the hands of some pretty intrusive security guards, checking for such dangerous items as knives and cameras. Following the complex signs to our seats, we found that Korn had already started.

Korn are a tricky one for me.  I honestly wasn't too bothered about seeing them; having been a huge fan in my youth I was convinced that the law of diminishing returns had turned them into a sad shadow of a once-trailblazing band.  They churn out a lot of albums (11 and counting) but I haven't been tempted to buy or listen to one since 2002's Untouchables and the crushing disappointment that came with listening to it.  Even the return of founding guitar player Brian 'Head' Welch, didn't really turn my head.  I am, however, happy to report that they have become a formidable live band,  Even given the Arena's notoriously poor sound quality, they sound clear as a bell and look like a band full of vigour.

We walk in during 'Falling Away From Me', which sounds immense and is followed quickly by 'Good God', which teleports me back to 1997.  I notice from my lofty view that about 4 circle pits have kicked off and that the stage has been set up with an underlit disco floor.  The rest of the set is a wise mix of some newer tunes ('Hater') and old nu-metal standards, including 'Shoots and Ladders' which sounds fresh and energetic and ends with a bizarre segue into the fast bit from Metallica's 'One'.  Jonathan Davis, a fine frontman with a surprisingly good voice and a unique, almost campy manner on stage, finally addresses the crowd with the fair observation that many of the people here weren't born when set closer 'Blind' was released.  I was 14 and immediately hooked at the time.  It's played today with a ferocity and energy which surprises and impresses me.  Slipknot are going to have their work cut out.

A huge curtain blocks the stage while 'XIX' plays as an intro.  The stage is revealed and the band launch into new track 'Scarcastrophe'.  The experience of seeing this happen is impressive, and a little overwhelming.  With more run-of-the-mill bands, one's eye is normally drawn to the singer, however at a Slipknot gig all bets are off.  In case you don't already know, there are 9 members and they line up onstage as follows: drummer, bass player and twin guitar players take centre stage alongside singer and more recognisable member (when unmasked) Corey Taylor.  Either side of the drummer (whose identity is not 100% clear after the strange sacking of the talented Joey Jordison) and atop hydraulic pedestals stand DJ Sid Wilson and, er, sample/keyboard player Craig Jones.  At the front of the stage, left and right, are the custom drumkits.  Their incumbents, Chris Fehn and founder member Shawn Crahan batter the crap out of huge drums and beer kegs, occasionally providing backing vocals and just generally fucking about.  They make themselves seem more important to the band than you'd imagine.  It's a lot to take in but it is bloody impressive.

The stage set up is impressive, with a deliberately shabby looking lighting array bordering ramps, platforms and pyro jets.  The custom drumkits rise about 20 feet above the stage and spin around while the drummers hang from them, Sid Wilson wanders about in a vaguely retarded manner not unlike Joe Wilkinson from Eight Out Of Ten Cats, before busting into life and going back to actually play his turntables when he's needed.  The band rarely stay still for long and the energy is infectious, the crowd responding with headbanging  and circle pits aplenty.  

None of this would matter, though, if the band couldn't back it up with quality.  Having been plugging away at this 18-legged freakshow since the late 1990s, selling 20 million albums on the way, Slipknot have by now accumulated one or two hits.  Belting out 'Psychosocial', 'Vermillion' (a personal highlight) and a pounding 'Before I Forget' among impressive album tracks like '(sic)' and 'Three Nil', their set is incredible.  They play new singles 'The Negative One' and 'The Devil In I' (I know, I know...) and an unhinged 'Custer' as well as an obligatory, brutal rendition of 'Duality' before they bugger off.  Their set has been everything a Slipknot fan would want - hits, riffs, screams - and it has been played impeccably.  The band is tight, even the extra drummers never missing a beat and despite the apparent chaos, it is clear that this is a well oiled machine with Corey Taylor as the ferocious mouthpiece.

Their encore, ending with signature tune 'Surfacing' to finish things off nicely, leaves us with words like 'unreal', 'incredible' and the realisation that nobody else does what they do.  Stadium rock with added brutality, mainstream metal with the occasional blast beat, singalong songs with death metal screams.  So who do I like Slipknot at my age? Because nobody else does this.  The biggest rock bands have always had a touch of the theatrical about them and with Slipknot, it's not so much a touch as it is a headbutt from a man in a clown mask.  It makes me feel like I'm 18 again and I loved every second.  Screw ice hockey, this is why they build arenas.

A couple of years back I started arranging my music on Itunes in chronological order. Any album release is placed in a playlist for that year, regardless of artist or genre. It has certain advantages but can have the not-altogether-bad effect of really messing with your head.  For example, this year I find myself faced with following the Foo Fighters' stadium rock-by-numbers with the black metal stylings of Winterfylleth.  Which can be quite jarring on your walk to work in the morning.

I could, of course, skip tracks that didn't naturally follow one another but where would be the fun in that?  I find that it forces me to listen to some of the stuff I didn't like quite as much and not just listen  to the safe stuff.

So I thought, given the variety of albums I've managed to digest over the last year, that I'd try to pick some favourites.

5) Comeback Kid - Die Knowing

I didn't really know these guys before this year.  On the strength of good reviews I decided to give it a go and it's proved to be one of the more enjoyable albums I bought.  Think a more straightforward Ever Time I Die, or Cancer Bats without the groove, they are ostensibly a hardcore band with shades of metal.  The vocals are rough, almost screamed, but not so much that you can't hear the lyrics.  Strong songs and a variety of tempos throughout, this is an odd thing; a catchy hardcore album.

4) Hark - Crystalline

I was probably one of about 15 people (including the band) who were disappointed when Welsh riff machine Taint called it a day a few years back.  They produced the kind of down-tuned sludgy grooves that Mastodon used to before they discovered acid, and they were really good at it.  So when I found out completely by accident that Taint frontman Jim Isaac had a new band, I was probably one of about 7 people (including the band) to be excited by it.  And their album picked up where Taint left off; the grooves are huge, the riffs are monumental and the slow parts sound like Black Sabbath in an earthquake.  Long may this continue.

3) Mongol Horde - Mongol Horde

I'm not a fan of Frank Turner.  I liked him better when he was in Million Dead. I know talent when I hear it and I could tell he was a great lyricist and an intelligent man with something to say but his solo stuff, popular as it is, just feels contrived to me.  And a lot of the fans seem to be hipster douchebags who spend a lot of time in coffee shops (totally unfair criticism, I know. Objection upheld.) When the prolific Turner released Mongol Horde this year, strong reviews and some online samples prompted a sceptical purchase that I didn't regret.  Full of punk fury but presented through the prism of a sussed world view, Mongol Horde melds posthardcore riffs to passionate and fantastical yarn spinning. Songs like 'Hey Judas' and 'Tapeworm Uprising' are utterly mental but prove that there's a finger on the pulse at the same time.

2) Lower Than Atlantis - Lower Than Atlantis

This one had to grow on me.  I rally admire that; when I first heard this record, I was quite disappointed by it, but now I can't seem to get the songs out of my head.  Having really enjoyed their previous album, I was gutted to hear what sounded suspiciously like selling out.  It was all very straightforward, the guitars weren't prominent in the mix and at least one of the songs ('Emily') sounded like boy band fodder.  However... I found myself thoroughly earwormed by at least half of the album and I've given it a deserved second chance.  So they've moved away from the Foos-like buzzsaw guitars they used to use and they've made a straight up pop record.  But they haven't done it in a shit way (like Twin Atlantic did).  They lyrics, veering between nerdy confessional and tongue-in-cheek arrogance are sublime meaning the offending 'Emily' single, is a lot cleverer than any boy band machine could churn out.  For proof of quality, try listening to 'English Kids In America' and then not humming it afterwards.  These guys deserve everything that comes to them; they've been brave and earned it.

1) Marmozets - The Weird and Wonderful Marmozets

An early morning, bleary-eyed flick through Kerrang! tv introduced me to this band via a music video.  The song, 'Why Do You Hate Me?' stood out for two reasons: firstly, the angular jarring riffs were something one wouldn't normally expect to see sandwiched between Good Charlotte and Fall Out Boy and woke me up more than my cuppa did; and secondly, that voice.  The Bingley quintet, fronted by Becca Macintyre sounded unlike anything I'd heard in a while and the album turned out to be just as thrilling as that video.  The music, featuring shades of Biffy Clyro, Hundred Reasons and even flashes of The Dillinger Escape Plan's softer moments served as a heavy, innovative base for a soaring voice filled with passion and topped with a fine vibrato. It's catchy, it's powerful and it's so different to anything else I've heard this year. Singles 'Captivate You' and 'Move, Shake, Hide' show the variety in their music and the album is well paced throughout, with ballads like 'Cry' and stormers like 'Particle' keeping you guessing before stunning closer 'Back To You' really allows Macintyre to shine. They're weird, they're wonderful; these guys have talent to burn and deserve big things.